Searching for a Missing Great Grandfather

“Ik werd verkrqacht doorde dokter.” (Translation: “I was raped by the doctor.”)

Evy Klaver

These words might have been said in 1888 by my great-grandmother, Evy Klaver, an immigrant from Holland.  Evy was probably a domestic worker who spoke very little English.

My Search for a Missing Link: Background

Not many people get into genealogy research at an early age.  As with most of us who finally get the bug to find out more about our ancestors, my search arrived at many dead ends.  By the time that I started asking the right questions, much of the knowledge and history I needed was sealed in cemetery vaults.  

Fortunately, my mother and I sat across the kitchen table in Wilmington for many hours sketching out family trees with dates and names.  Although most of these diagrams contained valuable information, it was only later, after being steeped in quest of cousins, uncles, aunts, etc., that I discovered more than a few “holes.”

Mom knew, and was willing to talk about, her German side of her family as well as my dad’s Irish/Dutch side. Dad, on the other hand, either was uninformed or unwilling to get into certain aspects of the Kennedys. Not that I asked that much when I was younger.

While living in Wilmington from 1972-86, I was regularly told that I was related to a large segment of the town’s population.  Mom casually gave me the connecting points, such as how we were related to the Van Duyne families.  Those of you who know anything about Wilmington will immediately recognize the Van Duyne name. Because of my mother, I can now explain how most of connections came about.

One major missing link was on my dad’s Dutch side.  Dad’s mother, Margaret Klaver (later Klover), married dad’s father, Dan Kennedy.  Together, they had 5 children: Florence, Rita, Tom (dad), Ray, and Margaret. My grandmother died in childbirth with the last born in 1924 at the age of 34.

My records show that my grandmother’s mother, Evelyn, had the same last name, Klaver, as her daughter. Didn’t she have a husband? What was his name? Didn’t my grandmother know her own father? 

I asked mom about this strange circumstance and she informed me that no one knew who the father was, but there was a rumor that he might have been a “Swedish doctor.” When I was older, my 23 & Me report indicated that there might be truth to that rumor.

In checking with the 1900 census data, I saw the entry for the Pieter Klaver, 66, and wife Katherine Hof Klaver, 61.  It listed five children at home: Maggie, 10, Eva, 39, Peter, 24, and Cornelius, 19. Margaret would have been born when her mother was 51.

I concluded that information given to the census taker apparently was incorrect. It seemed likely that the “daughter” Margaret (my grandmother) was actually the granddaughter of Pieter and Katherine Klaver. And the other daughter, Evelyn, was actually my great grandmother, Margaret’s mother.

My conclusion was confirmed because Pieter and Katherine also had another daughter, Margaret, who married Peter Van Duin (Van Duyne).  It is highly unlikely that parents have two daughters with the same name, Margaret.

Obviously, my great grandmother, Evelyn, had a baby, Margaret, out of wedlock.  This probably brought shame on the Klaver name and it was covered up. Incorrect information had been given to the census taker.

A Potential Scenario

Pieter and Katherine Klaver, with 10 kids, emigrated from Obdom, Holland in 1886. Pieter was a dairyman in Holland, moved to Chicago, and worked on the railroad. Later, they moved to the Wilmington area where he farmed. Evelyn was 25 years old in need of a job but what jobs were available for a woman her age and lack of English? Could it is possible that she took a job as a live-in nanny for a well-to-do family who lived in the south Chicago area. Maybe a doctor’s family? A Swedish doctor?

When she became pregnant, she gave birth to my grandmother on October 10, 1889. At the time of the birth, they probably had already moved to a farm near Symerton. 

Although I will never know the truth, my guess is that Evelyn was taken advantage of by the head of the household where she was employed and later gave birth to my grandmother.

The Story Continues

The saga continues with good results.  My grandmother, Margaret, was born in 1889 and was married to my grandfather, Dan Kennedy. That marriage produced five children: Florence, Rita, Tom (dad), Ray, and Margaret.  

To my memory, dad seldom spoke of his mother. He once described how gracefully she ice skated on the frozen ditches near the farm, taking long, beautiful strides with her dress flowing in the wind.  I feel certain that when we skated as a family, with my sister and brother, he must have had visions of his own mother gliding along with us.  I know that I can recall watching my own mother, who learned how to skate when she was almost 40, skating clothed in a dress. (I never, ever saw her in slacks or pants anytime.)

Why didn’t dad say much to me regarding his mother? I guess that I never thought to ask him about her. But perhaps the trauma of losing his mother in that farm house when dad was 10 years old and she was only 34 had such a lasting effect on him and his 5-year old brother, Ray. I can only imagine the horror that went through his mind on that dreadful evening.

Or perhaps it was because of the shame on his family that his mother was born out of wedlock. People get labeled quickly by the contemporary norms of society and the disgrace endures lifetimes. Or, because he was only 10, he didn’t remember much about her.

The Bigger Question for All of Us

Supposing that the scenario of the missing great grandfather is close to the truth, my question more pointedly is, “How many of our female ancestors, given their immigrant status and language barriers, were victims of their circumstances?”  Was great grandmother Evelyn taken advantage of? Raped? Abused? Was the victim blamed? 

No one alive today can know the actual facts, but it is intriguing to know as much of our family history as possible. Perhaps not for my sake, but for the sake of children and generations to come. And that women throughout history have been vulnerable and defenseless.