Grandson asks a question that would have been irrelevant before our marriage. Of course, marriage meant having children. How many? Never really thought about it in 1962.
We never debated whether or not we wanted children. We knew that our future family would never be complete without children. As far as a number, I cannot say that either of us had put a specific number down and planned on having five kids.
Nor had we ever discussed how many children we could afford. As Catholics, there was no question about having a specific limit. If you asked Dolores at that time, she may have said that she didn’t envision a limit. Was there, or should there have been, a formula based on income?
The reality of having a family and its associated expenses didn’t really hit us until we were in our 6th or 7th year of marriage. Call us naïve or just unquestioning followers to our faith that “God will provide” and our duty to “procreate and educate,” there was actually little planning involved.
I am sure that family histories and religion played a part in our desire to have a large family, at least large by current standards. We knew that Grandpa Dan Kennedy had 5 kids, Grandma Minnie Ginter had 7, and my parents had 3. Dolores’ parents had 4, and her grandparents had 15 and 8 respectively.
Certainly, the tradition of having large families would make just five kids seem small by comparison.
A sidenote: Any practicing Catholic born circa 1940-41 knew the (man-made) rules regarding the decisions around choice and timing of having kids. There are few effective religious dictates that the succeeding generations have adhered to. Birth management/control mandates are cast aside as if they were never there. It’s like enforcing speed limits on an interstate highway. (You know, driving the exact speed limit on I-55 or I-80 is a joke.)
An observation that my grandson had was connected to the close relationship that exists with his 12 first cousins on the Kennedy side. In many cases, attachment with his cousins is more like having additional brothers and sisters regardless of geographic distances. He cannot envision a life without many cousins. His own future family plans would probably consist of more than 2 children.
But let me get back to the reality of my wife and me for a moment with some facts.
Our oldest, Tom, was born in November 1963, about 16 months after we married and not close enough for people to keep track of and start rumors. Jacquie entered the world late May of 1965, or 18 months later. John was born in September of 1966, or 16 months later. Bob in April of 1968 or 19 months later. Eric in December 1969, or 19 months later.
Our grandkids sometime ask, “What was it like in the 1960s? Movies? Music?” We usually respond that we don’t really know. Our family was rapidly growing with a new baby every 15-19 months.
Of course, there were many events occurring besides the entertainment world. For example:
- Election of the first Catholic president (1960)
- Escalation of war in Viet Nam (entire 1960s)
- 1962: college graduation, marriage, Vatican 2, first teaching/coaching job (Roncalli)
- Confrontation with the Soviet Union over missiles in Cuba (1962)
- Birth of 1st baby (Tom, November 1963)
- Assassination of President Kennedy (1963)
- Birth of 2nd baby (Jacquie, May 1965)
- 2nd teaching job: Providence (1966)
- Birth of 3rd baby (John, September 1966)
- 3rd teaching/coaching job: Lewis College (1967)
- Birth of 4th baby (Bob, April 1968)
- Assassination of MLK (1968) & RFK (1968)
- Woodstock (1969)
- Birth of 5th baby (Eric, December 1969)
So, who had time for movies and concerts? By the end of 1969, Dolores was 28, I was age 29, and our young family was ready for the 1970s.
Negative Side?
If there was a negative, or downside, of our first 8 years of family building, it might have been our scant preparation for actually raising children. We were as green as our own parents had been when Dolores and I had been born. Somehow, we, just like our parents, did the best that we knew. We still had youthful energy and unsophistication to withstand life’s challenges (childhood illnesses, injuries, etc.) that was normal at that age. I cannot imagine doing that now.
Plus Side?
The plus sides outweighed the negative aspects. Our oldest child and our youngest were only 6 years apart making for 5 kids who pretty much grew up together. Our Wilmington house at 603 South Kankakee Street had an upstairs bedroom for the 4 boys and a bedroom for Jacquie (boys room with two sets of bunk beds). We later converted a bedroom on the main floor. The intimacy in those early years translated into a bond that persists to this day.
Another positive by having our kids early in marriage is the proximity of our respective ages. Only 23 years separate us from our oldest son, 29 years from our youngest. Through watching their development as wonderful parents and knowing that their children will be good human beings, we have a renewed faith in the future of the world. All of them, as well as other members of the next two generations, have the foundation and desire to repair my generation’s missteps and to advance civilization.
Thanks for the outstanding question, grandson.
With all my love,
Grandpa
PS: Below are some pictures of Dolores’ family members and relatives between our 2017 Kennedy family picture.
Below on the left, we were unsure if these five would set the world (or house) on fire. In the middle, we were looking better. On the right, I guess that we did OK.
Braidwood Beginnings 