When asked what furnishings that he needed for his new office, Regis President David M. Clarke, S.J., replied jokingly, “All I need is a throne and a mirror.”
At least, I think that he was merely joking. But then again, the Jesuits have a history of living in a different way from other religious orders.
Between Narcissism and Altruism
Regardless, it appears that some business or political leaders aspire to rule as kings, demigods, and tribal chieftains while convinced that they should care only care for themselves. Thus, a “throne and a mirror.” As history has demonstrated, this formula might work for a while before the followers rebel or employees seek jobs elsewhere.
Legendary coach Gordie Gillespie once stated that humanity can be divided between selfish and unselfish people. The selfish care only about themselves while the unselfish have a deep concern and empathy for others. Of course, this statement should be moderated in matters of degrees between narcissism and altruism. (Not to be confused between “self-esteem” and lack of “self-degradation.”)
But Gordie did demonstrate a prime example of how leaders should re-assess their roles. He did this by addressing a group of coaches in the following article.
“IF YOU DON’T LIKE KIDS, GET OUT!”
Gordie said this many times, and not many coaches really get it. Because of his reputation, the Coach had many opportunities to “move up” in the coaching profession. Instead, he chose to work at small, less prestigious institutions where the focus is on the student-athlete.
Which is more important? “Neither” Gordie would say.
The Scene
He drove this point home on an evening in Joliet after he was recovering from a serious accident. He had been asked to talk about the most important things he had learned after his 50 years of coaching. Since I was in town for a few days, Pat Sullivan asked me if I wanted to hear Gordie address a group of men and women attending a coaching clinic at St. Francis. Of course, I said “yes.”
After he was introduced, Gordie slowly walked from across the gym, obviously still recovering from his accident. He seemed to be older as he started on his list of things he had learned.
After about ten minutes into his list, Gordie stopped and silently walked within feet of the gathered group sitting on the bleachers, looked at them, and began. “If you don’t like kids, get out!”
Total Silence
Then he repeated in a more booming voice, “IF YOU DON’T LIKE KIDS, GET OUT! IT’S NOT ABOUT YOU! IT’S ABOUT THE KIDS.”
Silence again.
It was a youthful, inspiring, beaming Gordie now.
Those of you who have heard him speak will recognize this as modeled after his patented locker-room speeches, full of Gordie zeal, heart, and emotion. He went on, in a more normal voice, to explain that the game was not about the coach. If you make it about you and your ego, you should exit the coaching ranks.
Although I had heard Coach speak many times before (in the locker room, on the field, and on speaking venues with a variety of audiences), his statements that night should not have surprised me. I was merely an observer from the balcony above, but even I, a veteran of his speeches, felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck. How right he was, not only about coaching, but also about managing and leading people in all walks of life.
I can only imagine the stunned reaction of the coaches who reflected on their respective motives for being in the profession. “Was Gordie telling me to find another career or hobby? Had anyone ever called me out on this before? Was this more important than game strategies and victories?” They didn’t expect this.
Gordie’s talk that evening was one of his last speeches I heard, but it was the most profound. He was the teacher, the coach, reminding me that the priority of the game, the job, the community, was helping others, not just serving yourself. It’s not about you.
Braidwood Beginnings 