“My Dad would be very pleased to hear that his story is shared….hopefully it can help someone suffering with the type of issues that he did.” John Kalec
In Braidwood, Illinois, on May 23, 1923, my grandfather Mathew Kalec died from a sudden heart attack. My grandmother was 8 months pregnant with my Dad and upon receiving the news, she fainted and collapsed. The doctor could not detect a heartbeat of the baby for three days. The unborn baby did survive and my Dad, John Joseph Kalec, was born one month later. My grandmother would raise her newborn son and her six other children, by herself, on the 5-acre Kalec farm on Division Street.
Dad’s Journey
The emotional stress and trauma of the birth directly and indirectly led to my Dad suffering a severe stuttering problem throughout his life. Just last year, in 2023, (it would have been my Dad’s 100th birthday if he were still alive), I received a 60-page transcript of my Dad under hypnotherapy and a video from a Dr. John Butler in London.
He has conducted seminars all over the world and consulted with companies like Goldman Sachs and other Fortune 100. In 1983, a hypnotherapist in front of over 100 professionals in Chicago and later Los Angeles took my Dad back to before he was born and had him relive the reasons he felt caused his stuttering.
It is a fascinating and emotional journey that my Dad took for almost his entire life to try to overcome his stuttering. In addition to several sessions in Chicago and Los Angeles, he moved to Texas for a year after high school; traveled to Toronto after he was just married; and made numerous visits all over the country looking for a cure.
Assessment
The bottom-line consensus reached by the doctors was that my Dad went through life blaming others for his speech issues. He blamed his Dad for dying; blamed his Mother for never allowing him to speak in front of others because his stutter was too embarrassing; blamed his sisters for various things; and the transcripts go on and on.
My Dad could not say his name Kalec because the K sound is difficult to say if you stutter. There are many other “problem letters.” He may have been the valedictorian of his class if he had not stuttered; his career would have been different; and his social and family life different. He couldn’t say “I love you” because “L” words were extremely difficult. But strange as it may sound, stutterers can talk to animals free of speech impediment. (Thus the picture below of him hugging his goat.) And stutterers are also able to swear and cuss without a trace of a speech issue!
Through hypnosis the doctors were able to stop my Dad from stuttering…..but only for a short period of time. Until he was able to really stop blaming others for his troubles, he sadly continued with his challenges. Later in life he was much better, but never really able to overcome the issues with his speech. I was recently able to contact a former classmate of my Dad who lives in Florida. She now practices hypnotherapy in Gainesville, FL. She had an incredible recall of him and described him in these words: “poignant, pithy, old school, and sweet.”
A Better Understanding
The transcripts and video have helped me to not only understand my Dad better, but also myself, and many of the mysteries of our incredibly connected lives. Charlie Munger (former Vice-Chairman of Berkshire Hathaway), has many times been quoted to say that the secrets to success in life can be boiled down to a few things: 1) Pick the right spouse, 2) Avoid excesses in your life, and 3) Never blame or envy others. The lesson is that only we can control our own lives.
Below is a picture of my Dad as a young boy growing up in Braidwood. He no doubt had little trouble speaking while with his pet goat. Before my Dad passed away in 2013, he gave me the little bell that had hung on the goat’s collar. I don’t really think I understood the true meaning of the bell when my Dad gave it to me, ……. until now.
My Mom worked with my Dad his entire life to overcome his speech issues. When I was in Braidwood last week I noticed her timer in the kitchen that she used for baking and on special days like Thanksgiving, for timing how long to roast the turkey. The real story of the timer was that she purchased it years ago to help my Dad measure his breathing and relax before speaking. It just so happened that the timer served a dual purpose.
Braidwood Beginnings 