Grandkid Question: “Talk About a Bad Decision.”

I had made the choice to share 80 stories that I thought that the grandkids needed to know about life as seen through the fading eyes of an old man. This is not the same as telling stories that they want to know. Why not invite them to ask their questions?  

Grandkid asks: “I am curious to hear about how the things we think are “big mistakes” in the moment actually appear in the long run.“

Dear kids:

Of course, to be human is to make missteps, mistakes, blunders, and errors. In this category, I admittedly have had my share. Admitting it is the first step, by the way. A second step might be to consider what was learned from that mistake rather than beating yourself up for bad or ill-informed judgment.

We can ponder for hours/ days/months/years about “I should have taken a different path,” or “I could have made millions if I bought Apple stock when it first came out.” These “coulds” and “shoulds” are a waste of time and energy.

Having said this, allow me to give some examples of life altering ventures that can be considered “mistakes.”

Mistake #1: Declaring a Business Major as a College Freshman

I had considered an Aviation major, but the baseball game and practice schedules conflicted with afternoon classes. (Cross that one off.) Next, how about an English major? Foreign language would be required. (High school Latin wasn’t my strong suit.) Business? No foreign language and all the athletes seemed to be doing this.

So, I took the easy way out and chose Business, and Accounting became my nemesis. Hated it and almost lost my athletic eligibility. Now I was back to English, which I loved, and somehow fought through Spanish.

Lesson: The easy way out isn’t always the best.

Mistake #2: Not Jogging with Hank Aaron

While working for the University of St. Francis, I made an afternoon presentation about offering college courses to minor league players. It was a November in Arizona and my audience was the Major League Baseball farm directors, which included Hank Aaron. In the evening, I was scheduled to visit adult student classes at a nearby hospital. 

After my presentation, I saw Hank in the gift shop where he asked me if I knew of a jogging path where he might get some exercise. I had my running shoes with me and thought about asking him to jog with me. But I knew that I was scheduled to be at the class in a few minutes. 

So, I went to the class instead of JOGGING WITH HENRY AARON.

Lesson: Don’t pass up an opportunity of a lifetime.

Mistake #3: Not Talking with Dad About His Parents/Grandparents

My father and I were very close throughout my first 18 years. From a very early age, I was his companion in his truck and even helped him by driving the tractor. There were many occasions when I accompanied him to many taverns after work. Later, he attended many of my baseball games.

College, marriage, family, and work separated us and left little time to discuss more about Dad’s early family life, his parents, and grandparents. Too soon, he passed away at the age of 68 leaving blank pages in his biography. 

After he was gone, there was no chance of retrieving the saga of his mother dying when he was only 10, hardships of living on a farm helping his widowed father and three siblings, and trying to live during the Great Depression of the 1930s.

Lesson: Don’t wait. Learn as much as possible about your own roots – where your ancestors came from.

Mistake #4: Not Speaking Up

When your gut knows something is wrong and you can do/say something about it, you have a choice. That was my dilemma in my younger years. Situations arose occasionally when racist or derogatory remarks/jokes were said, people laughed, and I didn’t say anything. I went along to get along and later felt ashamed that I didn’t speak up. After all, I might lose friends if I had said anything.

Bullying, name calling, and being disrespectful are ways to dehumanize others and are tactics meant to elevate some people as superior to others. Peer pressure at any age will stifle a dissenting voice at the expense of personal core principles.

As I got older, I realized that anything less than speaking up was a betrayal of my ethics, values, and principles. My true friends remained friends, and others became people I respect but with whom I disagree.

Lesson: Speak up when someone, present or not, is not being respected. Set an example in words and deeds.

Conclusion

Looking back at it some 34 years later, moving to Colorado was more of a risk than I realized at the time. Relocating a family of 7 people 1,000 miles to a new location where we knew very few people was a life-changing challenge. There were no guarantees about job security. We would be starting all over again after being well-established in the Joliet-Wilmington area. 

It might have been a “biggest mistake” had it not worked out well as it altered the course of many lives. But as a result, four of our five children married spouses they wouldn’t have if we had stayed in Illinois. If that move had not been made, who would have been my 14 grandkids? Only three of you kids would have been the same.

Think about it.

Sincerely,

Grandpa K