“She sees the world through a feminist lens.”

The quote came from a comment about someone who viewed problems at work through her feminist perspective. Whatever that might mean depending on your own viewpoint. 

The more that I thought about it, shouldn’t we accept the fact that our own perspectives or lenses are cluttered, cloudy, and cataracted with our own lifelong experience, prejudices, biases, and faulty reasoning?

I don’t understand them at all. The “them” may be relatives, close friends, and others with diametrically opposing views on politics, religion, or lifestyles.  This assumes that I have the correct view and that “they” are wrong. And why don’t they see my truth?

And therein lies the problem.

Until I admit that my truth may be subjective and that facts can be highly obscure, the attempt to understand opposing views can be elusive. I need to assess my own biases before attempting to see life through another’s lens. This requires a generous degree of unselfishness.

We were all born with the dominant selfish gene and have to learn how to empathize with others. Our individual survival depends on being selfish, while group survival depends on generosity and caring for others. 

If we are to survive as a nation and world, it is apparent that we cannot care only about ourselves but learn how to care for others. Empathy is being able to see life through other’s eyes, to walk in their shoes for a while, to be less judgmental. But looking through another’s lens must also consider my personal lens. How spotless is my lens? 

Do I have defective vision? 

My own lens is colored and cluttered with 80 years of life in Braidwood, Joliet, Wilmington, and now Colorado. My lens lost its purely objective view of the world shortly after birth. Continuously learning in the formative years, as well as for my first 20 years, helped me to adapt, adjust, make mistakes, and then recalibrate. My brain reservoir captured, sorted, and discarded positive and negative information while gradually reducing my sense of objectivity.  

So, how can I be more empathetic, understand others (especially those with whom I disagree), and clearly see “where they are coming from?” I have come closest to achieving a sort of empathy for others when I have gotten to know them. Not only who they are now, but who they were in the past. Their trials, tribulation, their successes, and failures. Their peaks and valleys. 

My personal relationships with athletic and non-athletic teams and individuals afforded an entry into their “life portals” that stirred similarities and differences, perspectives that were previously hidden, and fears that I was unaware. These “life portals” became sources of inspiration, respect, understanding, and admiration. Their lives became intertwined with mine and I could no longer see them as strangers.

“I don’t like that man. I must get to know him better.”

Abraham Lincoln

It is past time to get to know, or re-know, our neighbors, former friends, and those with whom we have differences. Shallow political differences have been distorted into seemingly unpardonable chasms.  Respect has turned into rejection. Communication has been muted and eliminated.

Dialogue need not be contentious as long as we respect the opinions of others. Start by priming the pump with “small talk” and let the other person express him/herself. Friendly conversations have a calming effect. And then swap lenses and look through theirs for a change.

“As a country, we will never bridge the chasm between the ideologies of far left and the far right. Instead, there must be a bridge that reasonably connects the more moderate populations that gain insights and understanding of one another. That bridge will be accomplished when reasonable people begin seeing life through the eyes of others who are different.”