Change is Tough on Us Old White Guys

“It is not necessary to change. Survival is not mandatory.” 

W. Edwards Deming

Before you shed undeserved crocodile tears for us, let’s think about this. (Violin music sounds.)

We grew up in the 1940s and 1950s, a time in the only world that we knew that could make sense. Things were what they were supposed to be – normal – and would continue that way into old age.

We had been trained – almost through osmosis – that people who looked like us were always destined to be in charge. You know, the way America was founded. Others were in different categories. “Manifest destiny” was exclusively for humans like us. We had been built on the sand foundation that endowed us with lifetime exclusive rights and privileges. 

But we were duped with that notion that we were, and always should be, top dogs. If anyone other than us infringed on our preferred status, we would lose. It was all about “win-lose.” You win means that we lose. There was no “win-win” scenario for us, and we didn’t even waste time thinking about it.

What Happened?

The 1960s came along and the Catholic Church declared that the new conference, Vatican II, would eliminate the Latin mass, the priest would face us, we could take communion in the hand. What? Long-haired freaky people started to appear, war protesters, and Black people demanding equal rights. The age of feminism. Of gay rights. Muslims, Buddhists, Hindu. Languages other than English.

Until then, marriage and family meant that the man was the breadwinner, head of the household, king of the castle. But our houses and castles were built of cards, and the fresh winds of the 1960s soon escalated into a stage four hurricane.  

And as we continued through the 1970s, the 1980s, 1990s, and finally the 2000s, it seemed as though the rate of change was accelerating with the passage of each decade. And the older we got, the less that we liked the changes from our arrogant golden years.

Two family incomes were required to afford everyday living. There were even instances that the wife was earning more than her spouse. What was going on? A Black president. Men marrying men, women marrying women. Baseball umpires being overruled by video replays. Robots replacing humans, computers, self-driving cars, smart phones, and tic toc. 

Culture Shock

The conflict between our pre-senior world and the current world generated a culture shock that smacked us in our aging faces. For some, the choice would be to ignore or to resist change in any manner while standing paralyzed on life’s downward escalator. For others, changing times demanded that we challenge our unfounded and false early assumptions. 

But to adapt, adjust, and alter our worldview consistent with the times is not easily achieved.  It can be earned only through wrestling with historical knowledge freed from prejudice and bias, revealing knowledge that had been sanitized, screened, or buried. 

Once my peers realize that we win only when we all win, the commonality of all humans will emerge. Change is tough on us old white guys, but not to change is to die within. We owe it to ourselves, and it is past due for others. Justice and equality demand it. 

Sometimes I think that older folks might embrace change better than middle-aged people. By having a long-term perspective, we can reconcile the broader, more important issues rather than the peccadillos of middle-aged adults. But the will to change becomes problematic. 

“It is not the strongest of the species that survive, nor the most intelligent, but the one most responsive to change.” 

Author unknown